Gwen & Russ Hedo Highlights.
Gwen and Russ
Hedo Highlights.
Fluffy white clouds strewn across the sky fill my vision as I glaze through the airplane window. My body pressed tightly against my partner Russ as we attempted to nap on our flight home from Bi-Week in Jamaica. I rest my hand on his lap and whisper, Wow, that was incredible!
Once again, Ricky and Bi-Events.com created a positive and safe environment for bi-sexual expression and experiences. They put great care into designing space for connecting with other like-minded and/or supportive individuals. Attendees must be bi or there with a bi-partner and support their partners’ bi-sexuality.
The event in 2022 went so well that this year (2023), it was a total takeover of Hedonism II (Hedo). We had the privilege of attending both, and this year’s energy and vibe increased exponentially from last year. If you haven’t attended, book early through Bi-Events.com to ensure your spot, as next year is already shaping up to outshine this year.
Last year, they dedicated the Kama Sutra room for bi-play, and there were many pool parties and events designed for our group. Rainbow-colored bracelets signified our group affiliation. Other group attendees were respectful but often distant after seeing our bracelets.
This year, everywhere felt safe to express your bi-sexual orientation. And people did! At the nude pool, guys stroked and sucked each other’s cocks while girls played with each other’s pussies. Sometimes, there were multiple guys and girls all laughing, stroking, and enjoying being free with their sexuality.
We delighted in the variety of sexy and expressive attire in the main dining room and restaurants. Kink night brought out some incredible outfits. Russ gained a lot of appreciation for our beautiful cross-dressers as he donned a dress, wig, and make-up for disco drag night. He even shaved his mustache and goatee! While many of us would like to see it again, he’s pretty satisfied with that being a one-time experience.
The Disco became a dungeon. A huge shout out and thank you to Stephanie and Justin from TheKorral.com. Their knowledge and passion for BDSM carried through the classes and into their oversight of the dungeon during play hours. In our first BDSM class, we learned so much, including discovering the need to upgrade our toys, and left with some incredible hand-crafted soft leather purple floggers. We also have a list of other items we’ll ask Santa for…
Thankfully, afternoon play became a reality, fun for all, but especially those of us who struggle to stay awake past 9 p.m. The tiny playrooms dotted around Hedo stayed busy as flirting led to playtime. The playroom beside the nude pool will always hold special memories as I enjoyed my first FFF that wasn’t interrupted by cocks. Thank you to an awesome couple who spoke up about the need to let bi-women play with each other without interruption.
Classes on anal provided clear positive information for safe anal play. A big thank you to John and Angelique from sexpositiveme.com. We had attended a class on anal at another location that made anal out to be scary. However, John and Angelique’s presentation both encouraged and enticed us to continue exploring the various ways of pleasure. Later that week, they presented a class on dark tantra that brought together so many of my own desires and passions.
People connected with others in deep and meaningful ways. This was more than a week of orgies, though there were plenty of them to enjoy. The app from Tom’s Trips that helped attendees connect with each other also served as a place to express fantasies and connect with others.
Ricky led two separate discussion sessions. One was coming out as bisexual. The other wass a space to share our bi-sexual journey. A big revelation for me this week is that my bi-sexual journey isn’t something that is over. It continues, and I’m excited to continue discovering and cherishing my unique journey.
The opportunity to hear other’s challenges on their bi-sexual journey helped me to better relate to my journey. Each person’s journey contains unique situations and challenges. Yet, there are a few key things that are fairly common. First, the realization of being bi-sexual, and second, the safe and free expression and acceptance of this sexual orientation.
A frequent theme of individual stories was a sense of shame for having bi-sexual desires. Even in lifestyle communities, bi-sexuality carries a stigma. Many can recount a moment where they felt shamed for their bi-sexuality. For some, a partner ridiculed their desires, a parent shamed them. Some shared how they lost swinger friends after sharing their bi-sexuality with them.
For me, my first four decades of life revolved around being a good Christian. The extreme doctrine contained words of love and acceptance. However, the message of sin and shame overshadowed this, leaving me longing to be good enough. To get this approval, I figuratively drank all the Kool-Aid available. I still feel sad when I recall the judgment I passed on those who didn’t fit the role of straight married couples engaging in missionary position for procreation or satisfying the husband’s sexual needs.
For many years, I tried to figure out how to be good so that the psychological abuse from my husband would stop. I didn’t know it was abuse; instead, I thought it was me not being good enough. I clung to the bible verse with the words about how a husband “can be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” (I Peter 3:1 NIV)
As a woman, my clothing was to be chaste and feminine. On one occasion, my first husband and I walked down a hallway. I was wearing a long white skirt and a soft green shirt that highlighted my eyes and hair. A man walking in the other direction smiled and looked me up and down. This resulted in my husband being angry with me and scolding me for my inappropriate dress. I kind of wish he could see the outfits I wore at Hedo!
Thankfully, I have escaped this worldview and embraced acceptance and individual autonomy. However, I realized over this past week that some of that need to be good enough has filtered into my play life with others. Sometimes, I’m timid or afraid to approach someone to play with them, worried that I won’t be good enough for them. In reality, everyone is unique and complicated, shaped by our unique experiences.
My comfort level in connecting with others has grown. I’m shifting my focus from asking myself if I am good enough for them to how I can connect with them. Some people I may have a desire to play with will say no. And provided I have been kind in my approach, their no is about them, not me. This is a beautiful and freeing concept. We are human. Our complicated desires and expressions make us beautiful.
My confidence in my bi-sexuality increased this week. I am embracing my journey, and I hope you will embrace yours too. And join us for another awesome week next year at Hedo!
Written by Gwen Blodgett - Gwen and her partner Russ - they are affectionately known as Gwuss, and are both active members of bi-events. They enjoy traveling and playing in new and exciting places. Follow their vanilla adventures on Facebook at FunWithGwuss. A page that promotes laughter and positivity. Gwen writes erotica under the pen name Lynn Shaw. Have additional questions? Send them a message on bi-events.com or at funwithgwuss@gmail.com
Gwenn - Bi-event parties
Bi-event parties - a fun, safe space for bi-sexual people.
There are many reasons for a bi-event. An apparent reason occurred recently when my partner and I attended a regular swinger event. There was a pause in the activities, during which we swapped fun stories, including continuing through a leg or foot cramp. Then someone shared what they claimed was a funny story. As the story progressed, my partner and I grew pretty uncomfortable. At the end of the story, while others laughed at the homophobic punch line, we managed an awkward chuckle and moved on to another area of the party.
The story details resemble others we have heard. Perhaps you have heard these as well. The primary storyline is two couples playing together with the guys’ bodies touching, causing them both to recoil. In this story, the offending connection was simply a male hand touching a man’s thigh. Sadly, many swingers, while proclaiming acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, still fear that they might be stigmatized if they engage in same-sex sexual contact.
Some bi-sexual swingers maintain separate profiles for their straight and bi-sexual activities. My partner and I are open in our profile and emphasize that we do not require bi-sexual play in our partners. Unfortunately, others are not as open. After reading our profile, one woman sought my partner out to let him know she doesn’t like bi-men. She then tried to rationalize, and he just told her he didn’t need her approval and walked away.
Despite the broader acceptance of bi-sexuality, many lifestyle events still exist where male-on-male or trans play is unwelcome. Female-to-female activity may occur, but it’s often more of a show for the guys. This stigmatizes the experience and creates an uncomfortable double standard. Bi-sexual activity for all, cis or trans, thrives at the Bi-events parties.
Bi-event parties include typical swinger party amenities, space for socializing, snacking, and sexual fun. The distinguishing feature is that all attendees are bi-sexual or bi-curious. Bi-comfortable partners of attendees may also attend. People freely discuss and explore bi-sexual activities without judgment. New attendees of the space receive a tour from an experienced member who will happily answer questions and help new people connect with others. The tour guide will also share any information necessary for a great experience. The primary guideline for parties is to: “Show respect to yourself and others.”
Experienced members will help introduce you to other attendees you may enjoy getting to know. The evening starts with snacks and socializing. Friendships develop between attendees, and social time helps people reconnect with each other.
Next, it’s time for the Round Robin, which is a favorite part of the events for my partner and me. The host, Ricky, will introduce himself, discuss upcoming events, and review any particular rules for the venue. Each person or couple will share their name or names. Their sexual orientation as they define it and feel it for that evening. Followed by any guidelines (desires, fantasies, or limitations) for playing with them. My partner and I take turns introducing ourselves as pansexual, open to almost anything, and versatile, but require latex-free condoms.
Then it’s playtime. Someone may ask if you’d like to join them in play, or you may desire to let someone know you would like to play with them. It is a fluid environment, and communication is vital. Remember to ask, and no means no. A genuine sexy compliment while asking can help. No one is ever obligated to take part. No reason is required to say no. If the request doesn’t excite you, don’t do it.
Bi-event parties occur in various locations, hotels, rented houses, private homes, and the annual week at Hedo! At the parties, there are plenty of options for play to suit each person’s desires and comfort levels. Options for play include privately in rooms with the door shut, playing with others in a larger room, or watching until you are comfortable taking part.
It is a safe and non-judgmental place to be with others who share your beliefs and desires and safely discuss and/or act on them if you wish. Open Communication and consent are critical elements that make these Bi-events so successful. Over the years, we have made countless friends from near and far. Special friends with whom we have conversations that are not safe for work or most other social settings.
Items to bring to a Bi-event.
At Bi-events, the restrooms have towels, washcloths, and mouthwash.
Healthy food items to share
Beverage of choice, don’t forget some water!
Condoms (I recommend multiple sizes)
Lube
Favorite toys
Wipes
Some tips for preparing for a Bi-event party.
Number one, relax! Be open to connecting with other people. Friendships are the foundation for great playtime.
Two, rest and hydrate well. If you are tired or dehydrated, it will affect your ability to enjoy the connections.
Three, be physically ready for play. Personal grooming basics; shower, shave, hair, and nails. Some backdoor housecleaning if planning on participating in anal sex.
Four, wear something that makes you feel sexy! Bring a few different outfits if you desire.
Finally, approach the event with an open mind. Know that this is a place that cares for and embraces bi-sexual people.
I have so many beautiful memories from the parties. I enjoy being part of a puppy pile where four or more bodies are connected in sexual play. The touching, moaning, sucking, and stroking bring me to a place of sexual freedom. A particular favorite is the night four of us played on the swing—so much pleasure and freedom. I’m looking forward to similar experiences again.
The dominant theme of my favorite memories is the sexual freedom to do what feels good. At one party, I’d had much fun being part of a few piles of guys. I love seeing guys play together and being part of the pile. After a while, I wanted some pussy. So I asked a hot girl, and wow, it was fantastic. She’s now one of my favorite people to see at parties. No fear of being outed. We have made incredible friends with whom we have developed robust trust.
Written by Gwen Blodgett - Gwen and her partner Russ - they are affectionately known as Gwuss, and are both active members of bi-events. They enjoy traveling and playing in new and exciting places. Follow their adventures on Facebook at FunWithGwuss. A page that promotes laughter and positivity. Gwen writes erotica under the pen name Lynn Shaw. Have additional questions? Send them a message on bi-events.com.
The Kinsey Scale
Drs. Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy, and Clyde Martin developed the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale—more commonly known as “The Kinsey Scale.” First published in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948), the scale accounted for research findings that showed people did not fit into exclusive heterosexual or homosexual categories.
Creating the scale
The Kinsey team interviewed thousands of people about their sexual histories. Research showed that sexual behavior, thoughts, and feelings towards the same or opposite sex were not always consistent across time. Instead of assigning people to three categories—heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual—the team used a seven-point scale. It ranges from 0 to 6 with an additional category of “X.”
Rating | Description
0 | Exclusively heterosexual
1 | Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 | Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 | Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 | Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 | Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 | Exclusively homosexual
X | No socio-sexual contacts or reactions
Understanding the scale
People at “0” report exclusively heterosexual / opposite sex behavior or attraction. Those at “6” report exclusively homosexual / same-sex behavior or attraction. Ratings 1–5 are for those who report varying levels of attraction or sexual activity with either sex. In the original Kinsey Report studies, the X category designated the group who reported no socio-sexual contacts or reactions in their interviews.
“The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects.”
- Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948)
Taking the Kinsey test
An official Kinsey “test” does not exist, which is contrary to popular belief and many tests across the web. The original Kinsey research team assigned a number based on a person’s sexual history.
Research materials
Data gathered from the Kinsey interviews has been digitized. The Kinsey Institute makes all related material, including the original notes, available to qualified researchers who demonstrate a need to view them. The institute also allows researchers to use statistical software, such as PSPP or SPSS, for data analysis.
Significance of the Kinsey Reports
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior of the Human Female (1953) are known collectively as the Kinsey Reports. Together, they sold nearly a million copies and were translated in 13 languages. The Kinsey Reports are associated with a change in public perception of sexuality and considered part of the most successful and influential scientific books of the 20th century.
Other scales or tests
The Kinsey Scale does not address all possible sexual identities. The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid and the Storms Scale have stepped in to further define sexual expression.
The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, developed by Fritz Klein, features seven variables and three situations in time: past, present, and ideal. The Storms Scale, developed by Michael D. Storms, plots eroticism on an X and Y axis. This allows for a much greater range of descriptions.
Kinsey, Storm, and Klein are three of more than 200 scales to measure and describe sexual orientation.
“Many persons do not want to believe that there are gradations in these matters from one to the other extreme.”
- Sexual Behavior of the Human Female (1953)
What Is Bisexual?
Bisexuality is an attraction to more than one gender. Those who identify as bisexual feel a sexual and/or romantic attraction to people of a different gender as well as their own.
While this offers a basic definition, bisexual people are a diverse group. Each individual perceives their sexual orientation differently. Some may be equally attracted to both men and women, while others have a stronger attraction toward one gender over another.
A bisexual person may be in a long-term same-sex or heterosexual relationship, or they may alternate between the two.
What Is the Difference Between Pansexual and Bisexual?
Bisexuality is often confused with pansexuality, which is when someone is attracted to all genders, including cisgender, transgender, agender, non-binary, and other gender non-conforming individuals.
These definitions may seem very similar, but there is a distinct difference. Bisexual means attracted to multiple genders, while pansexual means attracted to all genders.
For many in the LGBTQ community, these terms may overlap. Some people may identify as bisexual but still feel an attraction for all genders. Identifying as bisexual versus pansexual mainly comes down to the preference of the individual.
Myths and Misconceptions About Bisexuality
Bisexual people often face misconceptions about their identity. These misconceptions can lead to prejudice, known as biphobia. It can happen within or outside the LGBTQ community.
Myth: Bisexual people date only cisgender men or women.
While the prefix “bi” may literally mean two, bisexuality does not mean attraction to only two genders. For many bisexual people, the “bi” indicates an attraction to their same gender as well as other genders.
Myth: Bisexual people are confused or in denial.
One pervasive misunderstanding about bisexuality is that it’s a phase — and that bisexual people will eventually come out as gay or lesbian. But bisexuality is not transitional or experimental. It is a valid identity.
One study found that only 18% of LGBTQ youth who initially came out as bisexual later came out as gay or lesbian. So while some may come out as bisexual first before identifying as gay or lesbian, this doesn’t mean that bisexual identities aren’t valid.
Myth: Bisexual people are more likely to cheat.
Sexual preference is not linked to promiscuity. There’s no evidence that bisexual people are more likely to cheat on their partners than people of any other sexual orientation.
Myth: Only women are bisexual.
Men can be bisexual, too. But they may be less likely to be open about it. In one study, only 12% of bisexual men said they were openly bisexual, compared to 28% of all bisexuals and 77% of gay men. The survey found that this disparity may stem from the fact that 33% of respondents perceived social acceptance of bisexual women, while only 8% said the same for bisexual men. While there may appear to be fewer bisexual men than women, this may be due to the social stigma around coming out as a bisexual man.
Helping Your Loved Ones Understand Bisexuality
Due to some of the myths about bisexuality, it can be challenging to come out to family, friends, or a partner as bisexual. You don’t have to tell anyone about your sexual orientation unless you are ready. But some people find that having a conversation with loved ones about it is helpful.
If you decide to tell others, your friends and family members may have a lot of questions after you come out to them. It may help to put together a few online resources about bisexuality that you can share. This will help answer their questions, fight any misconceptions they’ve heard about bisexuality, and will take some of the burden of explanation off of you.